Mommy hands

In honor of my mom, and my own motherhood, and how motherhood makes me so busy I haven't thought about this blog in over a year.

Mommy Hands

     One of my favorite memories of childhood is having my parents tuck me into bed.  They would calm my busy, worried, energetic spirit by singing to me while gently, lightly stroking my face, arms, or hair with their fingertips. When my mom would do this, I loved the tickle of her rough, dry, fingertips along my arms. I know that she lamented her dry, peeling hands- and still does- since she constantly uses hand therapy treatments in attempts to soften them.  But to me, her touch was soothing and perfect, dry hands and all.  As a young girl, I remember wishing that one day, I would have what I thought of as "mommy hands."  I think to me, that would somehow mean I had become like my mom, and managed to emulate one of my biggest heroes in real life.

     This year, God blessed me with a daughter.  She has, predictably, changed my world in so many ways, and opened my eyes to many "secrets" of mommyhood's ups and downs, bringing me closer to my mom than I've been in many years.  And as God has been working in my heart lately, He's shown me how to be a better mom, wife, and homemaker, serving my family with diligence and hard work, trusting God for energy in long, weary days, and developing a humble, servant spirit that does dishes and laundry ceaselessly without complaining (at least not too much). As I go from diaper change to stain treatments to laundry to dishes to cooking to diaper change again, I wash my hands many, many times.  And as I fight to slowly develop these worthy habits of wash and work, my fingertips have slowly chapped and peeled, until one day this past week, I looked down and realized -- I have "mommy hands." And I realize now more than ever just how much work, loads and loads (laundry loads, dish loads, trash loads, sweeping and scrubbing and dusting loads) of work my mom did to earn those hands.  I can never fully thank Mom for the hours of service she has poured out for our family over the years, but I realize now how incredible she is, to work a part time job, keep a (remarkably) immaculate house, homeschool three kids, feed us healthy food, and still have energy to gently, sweetly, stroke my arms until I fell asleep at night.  She never complained about being overworked, but I know she must have been, and yet she always had smiles, hugs, and love for each of us.  

     Mom, you have always inspired me, now more than ever when I am starting my own family and realizing how much you have given to yours.  Thank you for your mommy hands, for everything that made them dry, and for the love that made them gentle. 

Updates and blessings

Today I thought I'd write a little update post... It's raining and thundering, and I have a whole day at home. I love rainy days at home. In high school, I would curl up with a blanket, a gothic novel, and a cappuccino, and read by a window in the kitchen. Today I hope to be a little more productive than that, but I still intend to listen to an audio novel (I'm reading Anna Karenina, which is fantastic), and drink lots of coffee, because coffee I feel like coffee warms you up straight to the bones on a wet January day.

God has blessed me with the perfect job recently! After nearly two months of freaking out about finding a job, and about one month of glorying in housewifery and not wanting to go back to work, God gave me a job at the Bailey APAC school in Jackson. It's a fine arts and academics public school, that the kids have to apply for, and I'll be teaching 6th grade language arts. I know this is the perfect mission field for me, and I'm actually excited about going back to work. My principal and assistant principals seem like very dedicated, open, godly ladies, and my co-workers were so kind and welcoming when I met them. I'm so excited! It's only a 20 minute drive down a peaceful (mostly) residential road, which is awesome since I'm not the best driver, and I hate the highway during rush hour. Big trucks are such scary bullies. So, basically, God is way better and His plan is far better than I could have ever imagined. I even get to finish out the year teaching what I was teaching in my student internship!

As a side note, I have been inspired so much by this 30 day challenge on Revive Our Hearts:

http://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/30-day-husband-encouragement-challenge/

It has been a good growing experience for me, and has really helped be be a better wife to Tyler.

And just because he loves me so much, and knows I love flowers, my sweet husband let me pick
out a bunch of spring bulbs as a surprise on our Kroger shopping trip last night. I'm so excited to
have my own crocuses for the first time! I love crocuses. I always imagine them as the fairy spirits that bring the first sign of spring :)

So... I've been wanting to blog again.  I've put off blogging for the past year because I didn't think I had time for it- being young married, in school, working, etc. but I'm kind of wanting a record of life, and I think this will work. 

This summer we moved to a teeny tiny antique-y apartment on the "brick streets" (aka olde town) of Clinton.  I love it, but it's been a crazy adventure.  Some dormant fleas came to life and attacked us when we'd been there for a week, and it took a month before we prayed and God removed them.  Funny how that works, right?  Our landlord is a very sweet, caring older man (every day of 86!) who stubbornly does all the repairs himself as much as he can, so things are a little crooked or patched sometimes.  But he does fix it, and he keeps the rent cheap.  and I can live with crooked. This place feels more like home than any other place I've lived since moving out of my parent's house.  It has adorable glass doorknobs and wooden floors, and somehow the cracked paint of the ceiling is comforting. 

God's been teaching us a lot lately about following His plan.  Moving and dealing with "flea-mageddon" as my husband called it, taught us dependence and humility.  We knew God wanted us here.  and He's provided awesomely.  We also recently had a false alarm where we thought we were pregnant.  I freaked, Tyler rejoiced, then we swapped places, then we were just happy.  Then a blood test and ultrasound at the hospital told us we weren't even pregnant to start with, we just had a false positive on the home test.  But God has been using this roller coaster to wake us up to the fact that we're not in control, and our little crazy couple life is not the end-all-be-all.  So we're asking Him what His plan is, instead of asking Him to bless ours.  Tyler's been the most amazing leader and support to me throughout all of this.  Already, I've loved him more the longer we've been together.  But this past week of pregnant-not-pregnant, and his incredible love and service and faith, have made me love him more than I ever thought I could.  It's just so incredible the way he cares for me, and takes care of me, and is patient with me.  He supports me and is strong when I'm not.  and God uses him to bless and provide for me and teach me every day.  I just plain don't deserve him, but I'm so thankful he's all mine.  Somehow God gave me the best husband ever.  I'll just thank Him.

On a totally un-related note- fall squash is in season and the weather's cold at night, and my yard is filled with pecans.  and dollar tree has pumpkin spice candles. :)  So even though my sinuses are trying to kill me, I'm happy.  because my house smells and tastes like fall.  

overflow

Can I just tell you how wonderful it is to be married to your best friend? to know that God Himself put you together? to come home to the face you like bestest in the world every night? To wake up next to him in the morning, and ache with craziness all day because you're so ridiculously giddy happy to be with him that you can hardly stand being 8 hours without him?

I love being married to Tyler Entrekin.

For those of you who are not yet married- be you single, dating, engaged, frustrated, or in-between- please know that if you can trust God with your life, and allow Him to be in charge of your potential relationships/future marriage, the results are sweeter than I know how to explain.  When God is your matchmaker, your marriage can be a perfect little foretaste of heaven.  It can be breathtakingly beautiful. It can be eternally strong. It can be good and right even when life and your attitudes are less than nice.  And when I say "let God be your matchmaker," I don't necessarily mean sit in a nunnery and wait for a man to walk in and a voice from heaven to say "he's the one." I mean, trust God, put Him first, rely on Him for security and love (not on a relationship), and don't let a significant other distract you from Him.  When a significant other has this same attitude, and helps you get closer to God, then you're probably on the right track.

Please. if you're frustrated with your relationship status right now, try God. I promise He won't let you down.  He promises He won't let you down. 

Thanks for listening to my overflow.  When you're absolutely crazy in love your heart gets full and you have to unload sometimes. 

I sincerely pray each one of you trusts God and lets Him bring you happiness.

In Him,

Jess

hi

It's been awhile. I've been getting married and getting used to being married.  I've also been moving in, starting a new job, and preparing for school.  Life has been full.  I would apologize for not posting in ages, but I'm honestly not sorry for enjoying real life and neglecting the online world for awhile.  It's been wonderful.  I highly recommend it.
Married life is wonderful. I tell anyone who'll listen to me (and some who I'm sure wish they couldn't) that it's been the best two months of my life so far.  To be mutually crazy in love with someone, and then get to live with an monopolize on that person, and do the everyday humdrum things while smiling at and hugging that person, is happiness itself.  Not every moment is glorious, but even the less-than-lovely ones can be sweet.  I'm learning that it's not simply love, but God's unconditional love that covers a multitude of sins.  Relying on that is how we get over the hurdles.
So right now I'm pushing onward into my own version of happily-ever-after. :) and it's great. I hope everyone else has had as wonderful a summer as I have. (But I personally like mine best!)
Til later,
Jess

oh, hello again...

So, I owe you a sheepish apology for my lack of commitment to blogging lately... I just have been so insanely busy with school that I haven't had the energy or time to blog... but I have written a little bitty poem, so I'll share that with you... an update on life will have to wait a bit yet.

Single Girls' Paranoia

Quiet, calm evening,
Air a perfect temperature on exposed skin.
I relish the feeling as the breeze strokes my neck.
Around me, eerie quiet. spooky, expectant stillness.
Then the sound.
A car? or voice?
The wind up high, whistling in tree limbs and sky.
I no longer feel alone.
Her low moan
makes me want to glance behind.
Is someone there?
Walk quickly, ignore the shiny, pretty moon and soft air,
Open your apartment door and slide the chain on the other side.
Release the tense breath in your chest now.
You're safe from your own paranoia.

The Courtyard

A gust of the spring breeze washes over me. 
Glaring bright, but gentle in warmth,
The sun beams down.
Sitting here, I'm exhausted from lack of sleep,
Achy and weary from lugging around a heavy bag on a thin strap all day long,
Disappointed in myself for my failures,
Confused about how to deal with others',
And anxious about the many, many, things I have to do this week. (and next week... and next week...)
Oh, and I'm really hungry, too.
However, the sound of a constant fountain and the gentle hug of the breeze
Help to soothe me. 
Lord, please carry my burden
Take care of my tomorrows,
And give me wisdom to deal with mistakes.
Help my soul to be as peaceful as my surroundings.
Help me to transition from this current melancholy state
To one more hopeful and cheerful.
Give me your strength;
Enable me to do my daily tasks,
While still loving those around me.
Basically, know that I really need and want you right now.
I know I don't want you often enough, and that's how I got to this place.
But right now I'm thankful for the way you embrace me with the breeze
And I'm content just to nestle into you and let you fill me up.