Thursday, March 12, 2015

Opening up

Some people feel comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts with others- they fill up their blog with post after post full of musings and emotions. They write songs about their deepest spiritual encounters and struggles. Not me. As I put it to a friend recently, "I communicate like a dude." (No offense to men. I respect men. Even stereotypical ones.) I'm completely dense and clueless to body language and other context clues. I prefer to keep my feelings close to my chest. And when I do open up, I usually have a hard time finding the right words- stuttering and "ummmm..." -ing,  trying to identify what that feeling is.  I feel awkward with cheesy cutesy lovey dovey stuff, because it's so VERBAL, and I'm so NOT.

I wasn't always this dude-ish; I think somewhere in the past few years, I've let a natural shyness and awkwardness overwhelm me.  I use to overcome my shyness and awkwardness with my creativity.  As life's gotten busier, and friend circles smaller, I feel like I've let my timidity fall over me like a veil, and I've been hiding behind it.  The longer I hide, the harder it is to force my way out. 

So today, I'm peeking out. Lifting the curtain a little. Practicing using words to express myself.  Committing to get on my little blog more often and think out loud.  

For now, that's the biggest thought I want to share. I'm saving all the other good ideas I have on a sticky note, so the next few times I make myself open up blogger, I'll have stuff to talk about. ;) This time, I'll share a few links below of more "wordy" individuals who've inspired me lately.  Enjoy. 

This lady is a courageous fighter for a cause that's heavy on my heart.  We need more people paying attention to and helping fight the sex trade. 

I love how this woman found inspiration and comfort in Christ's servitude.  I've never thought of my role as a woman in that light before. 

This article really got to me. I've been much more conscious of keeping a calm demeanor around my one year old, and trying not to lose it when a situation is frustrating. Of course, today, I had to shriek unintelligibly and stomp my feet because I couldn't get the freaking power drill to work for me. Need. More. Arm. Strength. But at least I'm trying. And Corrie Beth gave me a hug after I screamed, which was really sweet and encouraging! :)